You can create 100 ways to get revenge on your enemy by using road kill.
What is road kill? Road kill consists of animals that are hit by cars and trucks. The best way to find road kill is to drive around highways and country roads early in the morning. Most of the animals roam around at night, and are often struck by vehicles during this time.
The death of anything is frightening for most people. When people discover a dead animal in their car, house, or office, most will freak out.
Road kill Collection
The biggest problem for most people who consider this form of revenge is how to collect the road kill. This kind of revenge isn’t for some people, because of the grizzly nature of collecting a dead animal.
I have done this a few times before, and I find it easiest to use thick garbage bags, and scoop up a smaller animal with a cheap shovel. Raccoons, snakes, frogs, possum, rats, cats, skunks, small dogs and birds work best.
If you’re too squeamish to actually go out and pick up road kill, there are many other alternatives.
Fish – Go to a local fish market if you have one, and buy some fresh fish (whole, with head and organs), take it home and hack it up into smaller pieces that you can later deploy in strategic places of your enemy.
Meat – Cut up the raw pieces, and don’t forget to cut up the organs, too. If you’re not ready to use them right away, you can always put them in Ziploc type bags, and freeze them to be used at another time.
Chicken – Do you know in many countries people eat the heads, and even the feet? Well, you can also ask the butcher at your local store for these parts, too. If they don’t provide them, get them from a local market in a smaller town. Use the chicken feet to put in pants pockets, and inside suit jacket pockets, and even stuff them in your enemy’s shoes. You can also tape little notes on them, or pretend that it’s part of a voodoo spell. The head can also be put in the same places. You can also try to place them in your enemy’s backpack, suitcase, purse, or even food.
Rats – When we have someone on our shit list, we often ask some friends of ours in public housing to collect dead rats, and place them in plastic freezer bags for us. We pay them $5 a rat, and have more than enough for our plans.
These are just a few ideas for collection; certainly, you can come up with many more.
Road Kill Deployment
Now that you have your road kill, you need to find good hiding places at your enemy’s residence, workplace, school, automobile, or truck. Here are our suggestions:
Work – Hide your road kill in your enemy’s desk. Shove the road kill under old papers, and hard to reach places of the desk.
You can also open up your enemy’s computer hard drive, and hide some more road kill inside. It gets really hot near the power box, and the smell will be unbearable within an hour, or so.
Speaking of the computer, you can also hide road kill inside the computer monitor, printer, scanner, and you can even open most telephones with a screwdriver, and place the road kill inside, and then close the phone back up.
Don’t forget about ceiling tiles. If your enemy’s office has those kid of tiles that can be lifted, shove a lot of pieces of meat, or road kill inside.
Home – If you have access to your enemy’s home, or apartment, there are 100′s of places where you can hide entire road kill, or pieces of meat, fish, or poultry. You can hide road kill inside dirty clothes that need to be washed, inside desks, under sofa cushions, inside of the back of a television, inside clothes, suitcases, briefcases, purses, backpacks, and inside ovens, washing machines.
You can shove dead mice inside cereal boxes, inside soups and stews and even inside of a half full ice cream box in the freezer.
College – We once removed half the stuffing from a pillow, and put a dead rat inside the middle. We then sewed the pillow back up and put it back inside the pillow case where the victim slept on it for two nights without knowing it was in there. Yes, it began to smell on the first night, but the guy didn’t know it was inside the pillow, because we hid rotten meat all through his dorm room, and purposely left a dead raccoon on his rug, so he thought the smell was lingering from that.
Automobile – The best places for road kill are inside the glove compartment, shoved between the seats, and you can place smaller pieces in the heating and air conditioning vents. If you do have keys to the trunk, then by all means, dump an entire road kill inside.
When using road kill on your enemy, always remember that it’s going to have a really strong stench within hours, or days. To confuse your enemy, always leave a big piece of road kill out in the open where they can find it. The lingering odor will be attributed to the piece that was found. Of course your enemy will be angered and dumbfounded when they slowly find piece after piece of other planted pieces.
If your enemy thought his, or her work sucked before. Imagine how your enemy will feel when they need to return to an office where the stench never seems to go away!
After you’ve literally “caused a stink” with your enemy. Start rumors that your enemy’s wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, boss, coworker, or neighbor was behind the road kill attacks.
If you blame a partner, you can then send your enemy a letter telling them that his or her partner has also been serving road kill in your enemy’s food, too. This will have such a psychological effect, your enemy will be wary of eating anything.
The best revenge is always psychological in nature. Once the smell goes away, wait a month, or so, and then give the same location a good spray of Liquid Ass, or something similar. Old memories will return, and your enemy will once again start tearing the office, home, or car apart trying to find out where the smell is coming from.
Use these and other good ideas on how to get revenge, to drive your enemy crazy. Alternate your revenge methods, and always keep your enemy guessing what will come next. Too much pressure can burst a pipe, and it will do the same with your enemy’s blood pressure.
Remember, if you want to find more than 100 ways to get revenge on an enemy, get your hands on the Second Edition of “The Purpose Driven Knife”. The Second Edition will go on sale December 1st. If you want a full arsenal of tactics, make sure to put this on your holiday list.
For a complete list of ways to get revenge on the Internet, order a copy of “Toxic Internet” before it’s sold out!