There are 100 ways to get revenge, and you only need a little time to think of more. Just learn to be very creative.
On Sunday, a drive-through customer gets angry at a McDonald’s. Yeah, sometimes you can really be angry at restaurants. But, it’s even worse when you’ve got to work in a restaurant.
Underpaid and under appreciated, waiters, waitresses, busboys, and cooks, all catch hell. If it’s not the customers, it’s from the managers. Someone is always screaming at you.
So, what do you do in such a situation? Do you bow your head, say yes sir, or yes ma’am, and allow the verbal abuse? Do you just quit? Or, do you stand up for your rights, and decide to get revenge?
When I was a teenager, I worked in a restaurant for one month during the summer. Of course I could have worked two more months, but I had enough. I was a busboy, and after one week, a waitress accused me of taking her tips off of the table when I was cleaning it. This was false, but I thought to myself, “if this bitch is going to accuse me of taking her tips, I might as well start taking them. Every time I had to clean one of her tables from then on out, I decided to take at least half of what was left. When the garbage was swept into my cart, so was some of her money. I would later dig it out when I emptied the garbage in the back room.
It’s not nice to piss off a cook. Sure, your eggs might be cooked fresh again, and might be scrambled to your specifications, but the ingredients might have also been altered. When people complained to one of our cooks about the food preparation, he would retaliate. If it he had a cold, he would empty both nostrils, and mix the contents into the food.
Once a lady complained that her pancakes were cold. As luck would have it, this was right after the cook had cut his finger while slicing some onions. So, he made her a fresh batch of pancakes, but not before allowing a significant amount of blood to drip into the batter!
Here are some ideas on how to get revenge against your restaurant, or against a customer that is getting on your nerves.
The last thing someone wants when eating a nice meal is to have a bad taste in their mouth, or a foul smell in the air. In a previous post, we discussed how to get revenge by using Liquid Ass. This is a really horrible smelling compound in any space you use it. Imagine in a restaurant full of people? Guaranteed to clear a restaurant, and will have customers screaming for instant refunds. The last thing a restaurant needs in this financial crisis is to lose all of its customers. Also, with any luck, you’ll have some people barfing up their food, which will make a bad situation, even worse.
Bugs and Varmits
It’s easy to mix in a cockroach, fly, worm, or whatever in the food. I once had a friend who went to a restaurant that featured buffets, and shoved a dead mouse deep inside the salad dish. He said it took about 15 minutes for the other customers to remove enough of the salad to actually see the dead mouse. It was a woman who spotted it, and let out a loud squeal, and naturally told the people she was sitting with that their was a mouse in the salad. The restaurant cleared, and no one wanted to pay.
With the invention of computers, printers and PhotoShop, it’s possible to create deals that are too good to be true. However, you want to keep it real, so you’re going to create something that looks real.
Find any old advertisements from the restaurant, or coupons that they’ve offered before, and alter some of the information using PhotoShop, or any other editing program. Mention things such as 2 for 1 specials, ladies night, all women eat for free, etc. Print the coupons out, and place them in the poorest areas of your community. Stick them in laundromats, telephone booths, or even pay some kids to pass them out in a populated area.
First of all, I would suggest that you have already paid your bill, and you’re ready to get out of the restaurant when you attempt this.
Does the restaurant toilet have a hand dryer? Here’s what you do, bring a Ziploc plastic bag, or you can use paper towel. Sit down to take a good shit in the toilet, and while you are shitting, trap some of the shit in the Ziploc bag, or you can just let it flop down on a paper towel.
Once you leave the stall, head for the electric hand dryer, and smear the shit inside the part where you usually place your hands to dry. Quickly wash your hands if you have time, and get the hell out of there. There is nothing worse than the smell of shit that has been heated.